s19-20260109

• Beginning of Act II

• Meowfi awakes in her cell. Her cellmate, Don Jones, wants to play some cards.

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  • Meowfi has a new prison personality where she seems to have acquired an Italian accent.
  • He wants her tail if he wins.
  • Blackreach Guard tells her to shut the heck up.
  • 
  • According to the guard, it’s Relocation Day. They’ll all get assigned new cells.

• Francis is approached by Rango in his cell. He’s SO thirsty.

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  • Francis tries getting him some water.
  • He asks a guard, who gives Rango water from his canteen.
    • Hold on he needs a swig.
    • The guard drops the last droplet on the ground.

• Thraine awakes in his cell. He feels no connection to anything.

  • Grug taps him on the neck.
  • 
  • He’s invented something new! He calls it a mug, rhymes with Grug. It’s made of shit.
  • Grug misses his family, even though they threw him in prison for being a half breed.
  • Thraine gives him a hug, which also rhymes with Grug.

• Melvin awakes in his cell. He feels weak from the magic-suppressing runes.

  • He’s been sharing the cell with a one Orion Starling.
    • 
  • They talk about what they miss from the outside world. Melvin misses potatoes and pissing freely.
  • Before they can discuss more, a guard approaches. It’s Relocation Day, and they need to move.
  • 
  • They line up, and Melvin spots Meowfi below him. He takes a mental note of it.
  • Orion summons his familiar, which is instantly vaporized.

• Meowfi lines up, and spots Thraine. She waves, but he pretends not to know her.

• Thraine is depressed. He knows he’ll spend the rest of his pitiful life here.

• Francis and Rango make it into their new cell. It’s smaller and has no toilet. Feces is all over the ground.

  • They’re joined by a two new cellmates
  • Shrek
    • 
  • Orion

• They barely fit in there. Francis asks them for water.

• Shrek uses his ear to suction water OUT of Rango.

• They argue for a bit.

• Shrek points to a stack of skulls behind him. Looks like a real shitty cell!

• It’s kill or be killed.

• Thraine finds himself in a new cell with Melvin and Grug.

  • Melvin and Thraine catch up after all that happened.
  • Grug tries to butt in with his new invention but Melvin isn’t interested.
  • He gets sad and smashes his invention in the corner. It was a key.
  • Thraine mends the key.

• Meowfi and Don are being led somewhere else. People line up to enter a cell, but no one comes out.

• Orion, Francis, and Shrek discuss their options.

  • Orion reads Francis’ palm.
  • He’s directionless. He hears voices in his head.
  • They talk more, but Orion decides to turn into a rat. He scurries away.

• Melvin Grug and Thraine discuss the poop key.

  • Meowfi sneaks up to the door.
  • Thraine whispers “She’s here” and Grug goes WHAT
  • The whole place goes silent, they all look at Meowfi.

• Francis sings Shrek a song.

  • He sings All Star.
  • Shrek grins and starts shaking the bars, ripping them out with ease.
  • He runs out, gets hit with a beam, and immediately gets turned to stone and dies.
  • Francis leverages the tiny cell to hide up by the ceiling so the guards won’t see him when they rush in.

• Orion, in rat mode, looks for a way out.

  • While running, he disguises himself as the Warden.
    • 
  • Orion drags him out of the cell
    • “You best play along -wink-”

• Meowfi avoids an eye beam, which hits a little snail on the ground aw man.

• Melvin and Thraine make a plan to save Meowfi.

  • Thraine suggests he goes invisible and that’s literally his entire plan.
  • Melvin was going to try to distract all the guards, but before he can, Thraine just goes invisible. The cell door is still closed.
  • Grug goes WHERE’D HE GO???
  • A guard and a beholder come up to the cell to see where Thraine went.

• Orion drags Francis. He lets go and says TAKE CARE OF THIS ONE.

  • He beckons Rango and they leave.
  • They get interrogated by a couple guards.
  • Orion isn’t taking their shit, he leaves Francis to get executed.

• Meowfi be dodgin beams.

  • She sees the Warden and Francis.

• A Beholder scans Melvin and Thraine’s cell.

  • Before it can scan Thraine, Melvin steps in front of the beam.
  • He starts singing a perfect rendition of Holding out for a Hero from Shrek 2.
  • As this happens, mothafuckin GLIMBY crashes through the ceiling.
    • FOOORRRR THE REALLLLLLLLM
    • He’s dying. Rusty Ruddleson steps out of his fold.